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parental issues and severe depression

Fri Nov 6, 2009, 8:02 PM
  • Mood: Neutral
my dad came to my room and yelled at me for being a spoiled brat for a while, and when he had tired himself out, i told him how he misjuged me by assuming i was like my mom, which hurt my feelings, and how he's always making fun of me and how that hurts my feelings, and several other 'it's all your fault' things, and then he got his puppy eyes and left me alone. this is how all our arguments go, usually. he yells and then i say something smart and he's like 'oh..... well don't i just feel like a dick now'. i never lie to him, and i never hide things or twist words. i think that's what catches him off guard. i'm honest. *gasp*

i've been spending time i should be drawing playing borderlands with my brother, the only one in my family that i get along with, and this weekend i intend to sleep, as it is an activity that not only gives me a chance to dream and think, but makes me genuinely happy for a long period of time.

i am 48% happy....

Fri Nov 6, 2009, 7:59 PM
  • Mood: Neutral
[x] You have a boyfriend/girlfriend (not really, but it's close enough to count for this i think)
[x] You have your own room.
[ ] You own a cell phone.
[ ] You have an ipod/ mp3 player.
[ ] Your parents are still married.
[x] You have more than 2 best friends.
[ ] There is a swimming pool in your backyard (its too small)
T 0 T A L: 3


[x] You dress how you want to.
[x] You hang out with friends more than once a week. (school counts as hanging out for me)
[x] There is a computer/ laptop in your room (i wuff my computer )
[x] You have never been beaten up. (there has been one attempt, but it failed miserably.)
[ ] You never cry more than twice a month.
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[x] Your room is big enough for you.
[ ] People don't use you for something you have.
[ ] You have been to a concert.
T 0 T A L: 9


[ ] You have over 50 friends on myspace.
[x] Your parents let you have a myspace.
[ ] You get allowance.
[ ] You collect something normal. (....i collect bones and sparkly things....)
[ ] You look forward to going to school. (i dread it)
[x] You don't wish you were someone else.
[ ] You play a sport.
[ ] You do something after school.
T 0 T A L: 11


[ ] You own a car. (i don't own one, but there is one reserved in the garage for me.... *runs away*)
[ ] You usually don't fight with your parents. (pfffffft)
[ ] You are happy with your appearance. (there are things i would definitely change if i could)
[ ] You aren't self-conscious at all.
[ ] You have never got a failing grade in your life.
[x] You have friends. (few, but very good ones)
T 0 T A L: 12


[x] You know what is going on in the world. (uh, that's a negative....)
[ ] You care about so many people. (that would make me even more miserable)
[ ] You are happy with your life.
[ ] You know more than one language. (getting there)
[x] You have a screen name.
[x] You own a pet.
[ ] You know the words to 5 songs
[ ] You don't have any enemies
[x] You are a generally nice person.
T O T A L: 16

Now count your numbers and multiply by three.
Title this journal "My life is _% Happy"

Devious Journal Entry

Thu Nov 5, 2009, 7:43 PM
  • Mood: Steaming
i hate my parents, they hate me. fine. i can deal with that. sure....

on the floor crying

Mon Nov 2, 2009, 6:42 PM
  • Mood: Rejected
should it hurt?
i can't remember anymore.
i told them what i knew,
how they didn't love me,
how they were trying to change me,
how i hated everything...
and...
no one came.
no one came to tell me i was wrong...
no one came to tell me they were sorry...
no one came to comfort me...
they all left me alone in my room to cry...
no one came...
they left me alone to die...
i know if i wanted to...
i could just say 'who needs them'
and get over this...
but...
what would the point even be?
no one needs me anymore...
i can't help them...
and no voice in my head is here to stop the dagger this time....

:iconenterplz: :iconsanguinejustice: :iconexitplz:

IMPORTANT SURVEY OF THE FUTURE OF MY ART

Sun Nov 8, 2009, 6:03 PM
  • Listening to: http://www.last.fm/listen/globaltags/Beautifully%2
1. Which of my styles do you like the best, and want to see more of? [please only choose one]

a) digital
b) traditional
c) writing



2. I want to reorganize my gallery folders. Select any of these choices to be folders on the left margin in my gallery. No art is going to be removed, just reorganized. [please choose several, but no more than 10]

d) digital
e) traditional
f) writing
g) my ocs
h) my fursona/scalesona/persona
i) art trades, commisions, and gift art(for others)
j) wolves
k) dragons
l) all anthros
m) emo, flaming, depressing
n) tutorials/linearts
o) other(comment idea)
p) ref sheets



3. What should I put in the featured section of my gallery? The 'featured' section is the one that shows up automatically when you click on 'view gallery', to the right of the list of folders, and the browse option, which shows everything I've ever posted all together.

q) everything
r) the best stuff, worth featuring
s) one of the folders above (list the one you want)
t) nothing
u) just a picture saying welcome
v) just a picture saying that the art is on the left




4. What would you like me to draw once I finish my personal projects?

w) random wolves
x) random dragons
y) random furries/anthros
z) my ocs that you never get to see
aa) myself
bb) requests and gift art for you
cc) something OTHER THAN wolves and dragons
dd) emo poems

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